In memory of Paul Harvey, who died today, I am reposting my story “The Old bag Did It” from May 07 below:

The Old Bag Did It

Young Charlie always had a fondness for nature. When he was a young boy he was known to be outdoors for most of his days. You see, Charlie loved animals. He loved them even more than his fellow humans.

But as young boys always do, Charlie grew up into a man. And his love for animals made way for his first love affair with Rose. Rose just wandered into his life on somebody else’s wedding. He was smitten from the start. Sure, she had a facial hair problem, but Charlie didn’t care. After all, she had a balcony, and he needed to put up his antenna.

When the relationship turned more serious, and there was talk of a marriage, neighbours told him: “This is a mistake, she’s a slob. She eats everything in sight. She’s milking you!” But that didn’t deter young Charlie. After they were caught having pre-marital sexual relations, he had to defend her honours and they soon got married and moved to the country. During the time of their short marriage, she let her self go even more: apart from over-eating, she grew a beard, let her toenails grow and stopped taking care of her teeth. Many a day she was found on the streets scrounging for food. But Charlie gladly put up with it. He udderly loved her, after all. And at least she kept the lawn neatly trimmed and took care of the garbage.

And just as news spread across the world of his wonderful marriage, it all came to an end when Rose suddenly died after eating a discarded plastic bag. For Rose, you see, wasn’t what she appeared to be. Rose, Charles Tombe’s wife and love of his life, was a mere… common goat. And now you know, the rest of the story.

Rose is survived by her son, Billy.