The twelfth gift that Dalton gave to us

Twelve friends with handouts

Eleven denied taxes

Ten decades’ suff’rin’

Nine wisemen checkin’

Eight points of taxes

Seven solar farm plans

Six scandalled outfits

Five aging coal plants

Four product bans

Three sizes too small

Two frightened people

And a health tax to pay for our debt

We, Canada, received the “Fossil of the Year” award for our inaction against Climate Change. I couldn’t be happier with any other award.

I for one am very proud to have gotten this reward, and we should put it on display, very prominently, on Parliament Hill:

Maybe we can replace the New Year’s Eve Log Show with an image of this wonderful award:

We should all sew these patches on our clothes and hand them out at international events:

We could silk-screen a giant version of it on the CanadArm 2:

We could add it to our Olympic mascots:

We could project it onto the moon at night to calm our fears:

I’d say, congratulations to PM harper and Jim Prentice for getting us this prestiguous award!

Let’s do it again next year!

Ms. May, perhaps in search of a seat somewhere in Denmark where she may be elected (since she can’t get elected anywhere in this country), popped up, once again, on the radar at an ‘environmental’ conference at Hopenhagen, the world’s Schmooze-fest on Global Warming (even though there is no warming).

Unfortunately, I have already called her every name in the book in my many post before this one, so I have none to give you. I apologise.

Granted she hasn’t mentioned her book just jet, but has already told Canada to ‘shut up’ and has been seen rubbing shoulders with such great human beings as Al Gore. Wonder if he showed her his Oscar… Oh Al, are you happy to see me, or is that a statue in your pocket? Al Gore and Elizabeth May, now there’s a couple I wouldn’t mind reading about in National Enquirer!

She says Canada is embarrassing itself every time we open our mouths, so we should shut up. I think she got her facts mixed up just slightly, there. All this globe-trotting to each and every conference flappin’ her gums off with crazy-talk may have gotten her off the track a little bit and she substituted ‘Canada’ for ‘Me’. That’s just what I think. I think she may have lost a few of her marbles (provided she had some to start off with) and is starting to excrete even more garbage than usual.

How did you get to Denmark, by the way, Ms. May? Did you swim? Row your boat?

Oh, you flew…

Hypocrite.

Now, go away. Again.

Shoes are torture
When they’re too small
Or when they’re too tall

Shoes are torture
When they’re wet
Or when they’re full of sweat

Shoes are torture
When they’re holey
Or full of guacamole

But seriously people, shoes are not weapons of torture. One Taliban was hit with a shoe (and not even by us!), and the entire county screams of torture and our troops are war criminals and we broke international Geneva conventions.

Grow up. We’re at war. I challenge you to try to torture someone with a shoe. Stop trying to score political points on the back of our troops. Maybe Iggy, Jack and Gill can take a trip to Afghanistan and talk our way out of this war with a bouquet of roses and a bottle of Scotch.

I’m not paying no ransom.

Support our troops.

As damaging the leaked CRU emails are to the Global Warmists, the real truth lies in the code. The computer program that “massages” the raw data into legible graphs and charts. That computer program isn’t written by scientists. It is not even written by anyone closely related to weather or climates: It is written by computer programmers (such as myself) FOR the climatologists. And as a computer programmer, I know that first and foremost the output of your program has to be what the client wants to see. They hired you: they have to be pleased.

I, and a large number of other people along with me, have examined the code leaked by the CRU hacks and I am astonished by the generous amounts of fudging, making up for missing data and adjustments that are mare to the raw input data to result in the now famous hockey stick graph, showing a sharp increase in global temperatures in the past century. I always knew that there were inconsistencies between temperature readings over the years, simply because the thermometers were moved, or temperatures were taken at different times of day. I can understand adjusting, slightly, temperatures to make up for physical differences between readings, but there are a large number of comments in the code, written in there by programmers FOR programmers, that show that programmers just made up “adjustment factors” and “fudge the numbers to hide decline” simply because they were given such inconclusive data, with large holes in it, that generating a graph from that data was simply impossible. And, I suspect, one of the  programmers’ parameters must have been to clearly show an increase in temperature over the past 100 years.

This brings us to this piece of code, taken from now famous leaked CRU files:

;
; Apply a VERY ARTIFICAL correction for decline!!
;
yrloc=[1400,findgen(19)*5.+1904]
valadj=[0.,0.,0.,0.,0.,-0.1,-0.25,-0.3,0.,-0.1,0.3,0.8,1.2,1.7,2.5,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6]*0.75  ; fudge factor
if n_elements(yrloc) ne n_elements(valadj) then message,'Oooops!'
yearlyadj=interpol(valadj,yrloc,timey) ;

(Anything following a ‘;’ is a comment from the programmers. As seemingly damning as “Apply a VERY ARTIFICAL correction for decline!!” is, it is just a comment, nothing more).

This code takes years from 1904 to 1999 in 5-year intervals, and assigns a ‘fudge factor’ to them, ranging from -0.1 to 0 in the first half of the century, and a factor of 0 to +2.6 for the latter half. This ‘fudge factors’ will later be applied to the raw data from these years, clearly skewing the numbers to be showing an increase as time goes on.

To make it clearer, I have put the years and their corresponding ‘fudge factors’ in a table, and added a column for a “base temp”  and a “fudge factored temp” which takes the base temp and adds the fudge factor for the corresponding year:

In other words, if we take a steady temperature of 10 C from 1904 to 1999 and apply their ‘fudge factor’, all of a sudden the temperatures show a total increase of 2.6 degrees, rising sharply from 1964 onwards. If plotted on a graph, it would result in the famous hockey stick graph from Micheal Mann.

These ‘fudge factors’ are used by programmers all the time. Take a simple business model: products in a database. These products have a ‘cost price’ stored with them. Now, if the cost of manufacturing goes up by 10%, instead of going into the database and add 10% to every product’s ‘cost price’, it is much easier and more flexible to simply add10% to the price every time the “cost price” gets fetched from the database. That way, we can also vary the increase depending on how expensive the product is, or when or where it was purchased.

Of course, we can’t be sure that this particular piece of code was use to produce the figures that the IPCC used for their reports, however, if anything, it does show clear intent and willingness to fudge the numbers so that they would fall in line with their agenda: climbing temperatures world wide.

If we find out that this piece of code was used on any of the numbers given to the IPCC, clearly, the IPCC reports have to be dismissed as faulty data and all resulting decisions based on those faulty numbers will have to be revisited.

Just when cracks were starting to appear in the man-made global warming theory, John Gunter, general manager of tour group Frontiers North Adventures, came across a case of polar bear cannibalization on Nov 20 and hit the Warmist jackpot: a nice picture of a male polar bear killing and eating a polar bear cub, complete with shockingly blood-stained ice-floes, and giddily, like Europeans huddled around a bloodied Newfoundland seal pup, delivered the pictures to a welcoming media, eager to turn the spotlight away from Climategate, and gobbled it up like Coca Cola (pun intended), splashing the bloody pictures on the screen, complete with sad music, a sombre tone and disclaimer.

Global Warming caused the ice to melt, cutting off the Polar Bears’ food supply, and making them turn on eachother, this is the global concensus.

And accompanied by this cute little quote:

“If the Polar Bears don’t have enough food, they may starve”

(Guess what, Einstein, if I don’t eat enough food, I may starve too! What does that have to do with Global Warming?)

Never mind that Polar Bears, despite their cuddly appearance, are fierce carnivores, and both male and female Polar Bears have been known to eat their young, even in a zoo-setting with plenty of food, and have been doing that long before Global Warming allegedly melted their ice floes. There just weren’t bloody pictures of them doing it to splash onto the tv screen before. And there was no agenda before, either.

Never mind that, perhaps, the Polar Bear is short on food supply because there are now more Polar Bears than ever before in history, and maybe they are competing more for their food, simply because their vast numbers have outgrown the seal population.

Never mind that, as well, with the rising Polar Bears numbers, the number of instances of cannibalism will go up along with it.

But hey, the Warmists needed a boost, and there’s nothing that says “Global Warming will kill us” more than bloody Polar Bear pictures on the evening news.

FRIDAY UPDATE: As on cue, the Ottawa Citizen, as well as all the CanWest news papers, have this story.