Shoes are torture
When they’re too small
Or when they’re too tall

Shoes are torture
When they’re wet
Or when they’re full of sweat

Shoes are torture
When they’re holey
Or full of guacamole

But seriously people, shoes are not weapons of torture. One Taliban was hit with a shoe (and not even by us!), and the entire county screams of torture and our troops are war criminals and we broke international Geneva conventions.

Grow up. We’re at war. I challenge you to try to torture someone with a shoe. Stop trying to score political points on the back of our troops. Maybe Iggy, Jack and Gill can take a trip to Afghanistan and talk our way out of this war with a bouquet of roses and a bottle of Scotch.

I’m not paying no ransom.

Support our troops.