Since we got a new plasma TV over Christmas, and I wanted to get some sort of PVR thing going, I thought it was time to upgrade our Bell ExpressVu receivers to HD ones. I opted for the cheaper one (I’m Dutch) to which one can attach a USB hard drive to turn it into a PVR. The unit was $199. We could also rent it for $10 per month, but that defeats the purpose: we’d make back our rent within 20 months of buying it.

So I gathered up all my patience and headed for a Bell World. The transaction was remarkably smooth (for a Bell World) and I was out with my new receiver within 10 minutes. A pimply teenager told me read more

The twelfth gift that Dalton gave to us

Twelve friends with handouts

Eleven denied taxes

Ten decades’ suff’rin’

Nine wisemen checkin’

Eight points of taxes

Seven solar farm plans

Six scandalled outfits

Five aging coal plants

Four product bans

Three sizes too small

Two frightened people

And a health tax to pay for our debt

We, Canada, received the “Fossil of the Year” award for our inaction against Climate Change. I couldn’t be happier with any other award.

I for one am very proud to have gotten this reward, and we should put it on display, very prominently, on Parliament Hill:

Maybe we can replace the New Year’s Eve Log Show with an image of this wonderful award:

We should all sew these patches on our clothes and hand them out at international events:

We could silk-screen a giant version of it on the CanadArm 2:

We could add it to our Olympic mascots:

We could project it onto the moon at night to calm our fears:

I’d say, congratulations to PM harper and Jim Prentice for getting us this prestiguous award!

Let’s read more

If anyone recognizes the idiot morons in the following video, please contact your local authorities. This video is believed to have been shot in Southern Alberta or Saskatchewan:

Apparently, brain and dick sizes are related.

UPDATE: Three suspects have been picked up in Saskatchewan and are due in court shortly. Link.

I thought a piece of sophisticated technology like the Space Shuttle has to be flown and operated by a variety or personnel like commander, pilot, several mission specialists, and a flight engineer. I thought the International Space Station needs a crew of at least three to make it functional. But if you’ve been following the latest Endeavour space mission, you’d think it would all be done by just one person: Julie Payette. Every night on the news: Julie Payette in the Shuttle taking off. Julie Payette docking the shuttle to the station. Julie Payette operating the Canadarm 2. Julie Payette hugging herself on live TV (there were two Canadians on board the station–can you name the other one??). Julie Payette read more

…rid the world of Prince Charles, Al Gore and David Suzuki, or we’ll all be doomed! DOOMED!

Mr. Carr, an inmate in Millhaven, had his award upheld by the Federal Court Justice James Russell on June 2. Mr. Carr was stabbed in the bum with a plastic device in 2005 and has since been suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The taxpayers of Canada eased his suffering to the tune of $12,000.

Mr. Carr, who was serving a three-year term for robbery-related offences when he was attacked, is now living in the Hamilton, Ont.-area, awaiting his money.

You’re welcome.

It seems that Michael Jackson was about 1/2 Billion dollars in debt when he died. This mean that my net-worth is more than the King of Pop, who sold over 750 million records world-wide, and is the world’s most famous person.

I, Erwin Gerrits, am worth more money than Michael Jackson. How’s that for an ego booster?

My five random questions to which I need answers:

1. Why do BBQ chips no longer taste like BBQ, but are just plain sweet?
2. Why is a hot day proof of Global Warming, and yet a cold day is “just weather”?
3. Why do the tax dollars of someone who does not have a pension plan (me) go to pay the pensions of retired GM (a private company) workers?
4. Does Dalton like the look of weeds all over the city?
5. Does ANYBODY watch “I’m a celebrity–get me out of here!” ?

Discuss.

Ever wonder why the girl in the Baileys commercial (”Gotta Have Coffee…”) doesn’t show her whole face? You know which one I am talking about:



Well, after much investigation, and cashing in a few favours, I managed to get the original frame, and it’s no wonder they ended up with the version shown above.

Here it is: