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Trains, Planes and Automobiles. And ponies.

Jack Layton is talking (again) about kitchen tables and being Prime Minister. Talk about being a one trick pony. He did put in a good dig about Liberals not following up on their promises in past elections and taking a promise off the table during the current election.

Finally a pet peeve of mine gets addressed: the naming of serious offenders of 14 years old and over. It always was very frustrating to see these young punks ‘protected’. And not a minute after Harper announced this new measure, and the bleeding hearts are already complaining how teenagers do not have a developed enough brain and can’t be blamed for their actions. And how the death penalty is not far behind and how Harper is turning us into the United States. We don’t need the death penalty. Just stick them in jail for a really long time. I’d be happy with that.

The Liberals released their “platform”, which is not much more than THE GREEN SHIFT withsomelittlethingsaddedon. It is funny to see that even the Liberals do not think the Green Shift will result in any decline in greenhouse gas emissions. They estimate a $40B influx of carbon tax to fund 80% of their platform. If the Green Shift would actually work, and reduce greenhouse gases and thus carbon taxes, that $40B would be in serious jeopardy and their entire platform would be doomed. Just the fact that they are serious about implementing their platform lets us know that the Liberals have no intention of reducing greenhouse gases. Where will the income tax cuts come from when the carbon tax income dries up due to the success of the Green Shift? Its own success will be its undoing. Good plan there, professor.

Elizabeth May hopped on her train yesterday and hasn’t been heard of since. You know, May, if you want to be a leader in this country, you have to get elected first. Riding the hippy train is not getting your message out to enough people. The other leaders may be, as you put it, flying back and forth across this country, but at least they are seeing people. You are harassing people that put good money into an expensive VIA rail train ticket with in promptu talks and multiple camera crews. If I were one of those train ticket holders I’d sue VIA for ruining my vacation.

Dion’s New Creed: Ditch the Shift, Pitch The Team.

Yes, Dion has ditched the widely unpopular and poorly understood Green Shaft plan, and is pitching a newly minted “team approach” on the campaign. Apparently, Ignatieff is doing the announcements now. At least we can understand what he is trying to say: over $80M for the auto industry. I don’t hear Jackie complaining about this ‘corporate bailout’… Oh, in the “Another Day, Another Billion” file: another $1B or so for farmers. Since we ran into one on the campaign trail.

Meanwhile, Harper’s making good headway in Quebec: Gilles had to admit that the Block was competing in most of its riding with the Conservatives. In other news, Gilles was making a pitch against privatized health care, even though his own province has the most private health care in the country.

Proving to be a stellar economist, Harper urged Canadians today to keep on spending to keep the economy going. There’s your fundamental difference between left and right: The right allows you to have more money to spend as you wish, while the left takes more of it and spends it for you.

The Adventures of Sweater-Vest and Sweater Boy

Dion’s new campaign promise is that he’ll raise the yearly $1200 child benefit, one he fought so hard against last election, by 350 dollars a year. Apparently, the current $100/month wasn’t enough to buy both beer AND popcorn. He also called the Conservatives liars, a term usually reserved for the later stages of a campaign, but what the heck.  Dion said he can be distilled down to six words: CUT… INCOME…TAXES…SHIFT…TO…POLLUTION. Whatever. I dearly hope someone will have a clue what this guy is talking about before the end of this election.

The Conservatives took off an ad they had on their website depicting a Puffin deffecating on Dion’s shoulder. What, do they have 12 year olds making ads? Can we have someone with a brain making decisions over there please? They also announced a 2 ct reduction in the excise tax on diesel. Yay.

Layton said nothing interesting today other than a complaint about the Conservatives’ and Liberals’ campaign strategies. Good day for Jacky: didn’t loose any votes today and, as usual, stated the obvious as if it was a revolutionary thought.

Duceppe was somewhere in Quebec (where else?) and stated he’s questioning the fact a conservative candidate in a Quebec riding used to belong to Opus Dei. He doesn’t like Opus Dei. Then, confusingly, he concluded he doesn’t care what religion the other candidates belong to and it’s their business (?). In other words he was somewhere in Quebec talking about Quebec and about something he shouldn’t be talking about, so why should we care?

Meanwhile, Dion has been spotted wearing a Liberal red sweater. What’s the philosophy here, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em? Let’s bore everybody to death with 30 days of ads with people in sweater(vests) sitting in front of a fire place. Layton will follow, I am sure. He’ll always jump on whichever bandwagon is popular. I can’t see the chief block-head Duceppe in a sweater-vest, though. He may be our saving grace.

In the interest of avoid being sexist, we’ll include Lizzy May in this report: she didn’t do anything today other than whine on radio stations and sue the ol’ boy club. Then again, if we include May here we must also include all the other party leaders, so here goes:

• Ms. Constance (Connie) Fogal from the Canadian Action Party (whereabouts: unknown)
• Mr. Ronald O. Gray from the Christian Heritage Party of Canada (whereabouts: unknown)
• Mr. Miguel Figueroa from the Communist Party of Canada (whereabouts: unknown)
• Ms. Barbara Wardlaw from the First Peoples National Party of Canada (whereabouts: unknown)
• Mr. Dennis Young from the Libertarian Party of Canada (whereabouts: unknown)
• M. Blair T. Longley from the Marijuana Party (whereabouts: unknown)
• Ms. Anna Di Carlo from the Marxist-Leninist Party of Canada (whereabouts: unknown)
• Mr. Francois Yo Gourd from neorhino.ca (whereabouts: unknown)
• The Hon. Sinclair M. Stevens from the Progressive Canadian party (whereabouts: unknown)
• Mr. Douglas H. Christie from the Western Block Party (whereabouts: unknown)

There, that’s your list, people. Like it or not, you have to pick one of these people to lead this country.