Yes, we need more special days to celebrate the 434th European, or 1,674th citizen of the World to “discover” America.

If I was the PM and I was at the French debates I’d say:

To Gilles Duceppe: Can I finish my sentence for once?
To Jack Layton: How come you sound like a Scot, and I sound effeminate?
To Stephane Dion: Can you take a stand on something? I know Rae and Iggy are not here, but geez. You can’t even say if you’re for or against a our crime bill. At least Jack said he’s fundamentally against so he’ll vote against. You say “we’ll see”.
To the moderator: They have four minutes to pile on me, and I have 1 minute for rebuttal. Why are we sitting around a giant guitar pick? Do I have to sit next to the passion flaky? Why am I facing a three headed firing squad? Why is my back to the camera in the overhead shots, and the firing squad is facing the audience?
To Elizabeth May: God, you’re annoying. You remind me of Jar Jar Binks (”Global Warming comin dees way: Meesa Gonna Die!”) I hope so…

And that is why I would never be a PM. But that’s OK.

Young Charlie always had a fondness for nature. When he was a young boy he was known to be outdoors for most of his days. You see, Charlie loved animals. He loved them even more than his fellow humans.

But as young boys always do, Charlie grew up into a man. And his love for animals made way for his first love affair with Rose. Rose just wandered into his life on somebody else’s wedding. He was smitten from the start. Sure, she had a facial hair problem, but Charlie didn’t care. After all, she had a balcony, and he needed to put up his antenna.

When the relationship turned more serious, and there was talk of a marriage, neighbours told him: “This is a mistake, she’s a slob. She eats everything in sight. She’s milking you!” But that didn’t deter young Charlie. After they were caught having pre-marital sexual relations, he had to defend her honours and they soon got married and moved to the country. During the time of their short marriage, she let her self go even more: apart from over-eating, she grew a beard, let her toenails grow and stopped taking care of her teeth. Many a day she was found on the streets scrounging for food. But Charlie gladly put up with it. He udderly loved her, after all. And at least she kept the lawn neatly trimmed and took care of the garbage.

And just as news spread across the world of his wonderful marriage, it all came to an end when Rose suddenly died after eating a discarded plastic bag. For Rose, you see, wasn’t what she appeared to be. Rose, Charles Tombe’s wife and love of his life, was a mere… common goat. And now you know, the rest of the story.

 Rose is survived by her son, Billy.

CSI Miami: a lunatic has a nuclear bomb. Ryan is sitting behind a computer, Caine is standing behind him.
Caine: Ryan, can you find out the most optimal location and weather condition to detonate a nuclear bomb in downtown Miami with maximal damage?
Ryan types in: “optimal weather condition” onto a computer search engine. Computer comes back with “Blue Lakes Park, 4 p.m.”
Caine: That’s fifteen minutes from now… let’s roll!

I certainly do. Is it annoying when you’re talking to people and they do this sort of thing? It sure is. Should people that constantly asking themselves questions and answer them be in an insane asylum? I don’t see why not.