Our favourite Liz May is in the news again. She says Canada is breaking the law by cancelling the Kyoto Accord.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/story/2011/12/13/pol-may-kyoto.html

To which I have one thing to say: what does a delegate from Papua New Guinea have to do with Canadian policy?

So, Elizabeth May *finally* got herself elected. It didn’t come easy, or cheap: first, she had to pick the most hippie-like riding in the country (I’ve been to the Gulf Islands) and then she had to spend the entire campaign in her own riding, and blow more than half  of her entire national budget on buying herself some votes.

In the mean time, all her other 307 candidates were out there, unsupported, with no money to spend.

Then you go on TV stating there was a “growing green movement”, while in fact, your party’s support fell by 360,000 votes, or 39%. You were just talking about yourself, weren’t you?

Seriously, I don’t know why those 307 green candidates keep putting their names on the ballot.

So, the campaign promises have started. Already the collective Opposition leaders have promised about $1B per day. Where this money comes from no one knows, but hey, it’s a campaign, and Canadians have been known to believe a promise or two (remember the GST?).

After attaching the government on the so called “in and out” scheme, both Iggy and Jackie themselves are offering a sort of in-and-out scheme to the taxpayers. Yesterday Iggy came up with the most complicated, convoluted scheme to “help” students with some sort of $4000 (or something) grant in some sort of program (if I am being vague, well, it’s because no-one understands the damn thing). One university professor (didn’t catch his name) said on the radio yesterday, that, while complicated, it basically means nothing more than taking something away from some students and giving it to other students, using programs already in place (like the RESPs), the net result being zero. In and out.

Today Jackie came out swinging saying he’d lower taxes for small business, but to pay for it, he’d raise taxes on corporations. I guess no-one told him that most small businesses are corporations, providing most of the jobs (at least here in Ontario). You know that nail-salon you go to, next to the Lebanese pizza place? Well, both of them are corporations. And so are all the other small businesses in that strip mall. They will get a lower tax through his small business cuts, and then pay more tax through his corporation raise. Sounds a lot like an in-and-out scheme to me.

Lizzy May is talking to a lawyer so she may, once again, act like a spoiled child and scream through everybody around the discussion table at the National Debates (that are somehow directed by “The Broadcast Consortium”, a term one only hears during electoral debates, thankfully).

And Gilles? Well, Gilles is in Quebec. Big surprise.

Ms. May, perhaps in search of a seat somewhere in Denmark where she may be elected (since she can’t get elected anywhere in this country), popped up, once again, on the radar at an ‘environmental’ conference at Hopenhagen, the world’s Schmooze-fest on Global Warming (even though there is no warming).

Unfortunately, I have already called her every name in the book in my many post before this one, so I have none to give you. I apologise.

Granted she hasn’t mentioned her book just jet, but has already told Canada to ‘shut up’ and has been seen rubbing shoulders with such great human beings as Al Gore. Wonder if he showed her his Oscar… Oh Al, are you happy to see me, or is that a statue in your pocket? Al Gore and Elizabeth May, now there’s a couple I wouldn’t mind reading about in National Enquirer!

She says Canada is embarrassing itself every time we open our mouths, so we should shut up. I think she got her facts mixed up just slightly, there. All this globe-trotting to each and every conference flappin’ her gums off with crazy-talk may have gotten her off the track a little bit and she substituted ‘Canada’ for ‘Me’. That’s just what I think. I think she may have lost a few of her marbles (provided she had some to start off with) and is starting to excrete even more garbage than usual.

How did you get to Denmark, by the way, Ms. May? Did you swim? Row your boat?

Oh, you flew…

Hypocrite.

Now, go away. Again.

So I guess Twitter has gotten too big for its own good–the web site’s down half the time due to traffic, and I am now getting about 200 notifications a day of various vague people following me with such names as: Susan, Allison, Alyssa, Melody, James, Kristen, Erma, Jodie and Alexis: it’s like the cast of Melrose Place wants to be my friend! As a result, I now have 20 spammers listed as followers and the fun has been taken away. Much like Facebook, which was a good tool at first to keep in touch with people, but is now not much more than a glorified soapbox for narcissistic people who want show off what they have, and let us know about every fart they pass. That, and having to install sixty-five applications to watch a video. No thanks.

I think it’s time to quit Twitter, before it gets REALLY annoying: when Viagra wants to follow me, or worse yet, Elizabeth May.

Tory Senator Nancy Ruth told reporters on Tuesday that “Canada Geese should be culled and fed to the poor”. Now, I agree there’s too many Canada Geese, andexcrement is a problem, but feeding them to “the poor”, whoever they are, is not a solution. I mean, have you ever tasted wild goose? It isn’t much good. I am sure those “poor” (I assume they would include the bums on our streets who get their nutrition from a regular bottle of rum), would turn up their noses at the sight of Canada Goose. Might as well serve up beaver. Or Elizabeth May.

And I wouldn’t serve that to my worst enemy…

…who happens to be Elizabeth May.

My favourite <insert expletive here> Lizzy May was interviewed by Kate Heartfield of the Ottawa Citizen this morning. Of course, she was peddling her new book, Global Warming By For Dummies, co-written by a student (!). In between the own horn tooting, she mentions this little tidbit:

I’ve already gotten in trouble for suggesting giving a copy of the book to Stephen Harper! Conservative bloggers thought this was an insult.

And there you go. Once again, we made a difference!

So where’s this “climate crisis” everyone keeps talking about?

The last time we heard from Lizzy May, we hoped it would be the last time. But, she’s back. As Joanne over at Blue Like You reports, Lizzy May has been recorded as saying she plans to give a copy of her book “Global Warming By Dummies”, er, “Global Warming For Dummies” to PM Harper when parliament resumes.

So, not only does she think that the Canadian Electorate is stupid, she also thinks our PM is a dummy.

Not only is the title old news (it’s called “Climate Change” now, DUMMY!), it is written by two non-scientists, and has been “fact” checked by several members of the IPCC panel. Great! They couldn’t even find the facts in their own publications!

But it’s not a book to convince the Deniers, no, no, it’s not, honestly!

Give me a break. Lizzy, go away, again, please. I’m begging you. Just…. go away.

While the mercury in Ottawa got stuck overnight at -32 (I hear it is going to be -38 over in Calgary), a senior Environment Canada scientist is blasting the federal government for causing a “public embarrassment for Canada” by preventing him from organizing a world gathering of experts on global warming. Don MacIver is the director of the Adaptation and Impacts Research Division at EC and was chairing a committee for the WMO (World Meteorological Organization) at the UN climate change summit in Poland, the same summit where Elizabeth May is peddling her Global Warming For Dummies book. Senior bureaucrats scrapped the trip in a cost-cutting measure. I agree, sending our “scientists” to false UN summits on subjects that don’t exist is not in the tax payers’ best interest. And if Elizabeth May is there, it can’t, by definition, be good for the taxpayers. According to Ms. May, delegates from other countries were “puzzled” by the cancellation of our committee chair’s address, and were left “wondering why it got cancelled” (that’s quite the “public embarrassment”). Earlier in the week, May was heard saying people at the summit had ”burst into tears” when they heard Harper had prorogued parliament.

I guess what I am trying to say is that Ms. May is more of an embarrassment to Canada than any cancellation of any speech ever will.

This all comes on the heels of a report that melting polar ice caps could actually help the fight against global warming. Apparently, there is excessive plankton growth in the sea areas that are now ice free, creating a huge carbon sink.

And Jack Layton just can’t give up.

While Martha Hall Findlay wiped the tears from her eyes, the World’s Seventh Intellect (is this the same as “Canada’s Foremost Thinker” to describe a certain GG husband?) stumbled in his first speech yesterday. “Determined determination” must be the epitome of smartness. So utter intellectual that simple folks like you or I would almost think it doesn’t make any sense. But I suppose there are only about six people in the world who could come up with better phrasing, so who are we to complain?

It also seems that the World’s Seventh Intellect likes the smell of manure. He’s such a farm-boy, our little Iggy. Doesn’t he look like he could, at any given time, peal off his suit like Superman, reveal his dirty coveralls underneath, grab a pitch fork and shovel some shit?

Jack Layton is laying low. After in effect being called stupid by Ignatieff in the aforementioned speech, and his wife’s online poll-gaffe, I think it is best to hide out until after Christmas. Plus I’ve seen enough of his moustache for a while.

With Dion gone, Rae gone and Lizzy May out of the country, politics have suddenly become non-humourous. Shame, shame, shame.

UPDATE: Thanks to Blue Like You and Small Dead Animals for sending hordes of folks this way and keeping me from doing my work all afternoon (and that’s a good thing!)